Who Do You Dress For?

When you put on an outfit, who are you dressing for? Men? Your girlfriends? Yourself? While general society may believe that women dress to attract a mate, I’ve heard it said that most men believe that women actually dress to impress each other. I like to think I dress for myself. But lately I’ve noticed that I am paying more and more attention to my husband’s opinion and allowing that to influence my overall look. However, I now wonder, is it possible to take that too far?

The other night I was trying to decide how to wear my hair with my metallic tuxedo jacket over a sequin dress outfit. I was partial to a ponytail, but my husband uttered words that I am sorry I had to hear: “I’ve never been a fan of the whole ponytail with a jacket look.” Unknown to him, his statement shattered my heart. A ponytail with a jacket is one of my favorite go-to looks. It’s so easy and effortless and has an element of rock and roll toughness to it. Think Gwen Stefani. But to learn that my husband doesn’t like that look at all now leaves me in a conundrum. Do I abandon that look altogether? Or do I maintain my sense of identity and keep that look in my rotation of styles?

Please note that my husband is a loving, supportive man and does not expect me to dress for him. His opinions are only offered when I ask for them. I mean, we’ve been together for more than half our lives, during which I’ve often worn a ponytail with a jacket, completely clueless about his disdain for that style. So this isn’t an issue of my husband bullying me into giving up a look I love. I could wear a ponytail with a jacket tomorrow and he wouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable about it at all. But now that I know he isn’t a fan, my own inner dialogue would make me feel insecure.

Maybe wearing a pony tail with a jacket is a look I’ll keep when I’m running around town by myself or hanging out with girlfriends. But I’m definitely omitting that look from date nights. How much do you allow the opinions of people you love and admire affect your overall look? Who do you dress for? Leave me a comment if you would like to share your opinion.