I don’t know if it’s that Mercury, Saturn, and Pluto are all in retrograde, plus we’re in the middle of an eclipse season, but something about the planets are drawing exes together. Yikes. We all read about JLo and Ben reuniting. Now, the news of Lindsey Buckingham’s divorce has all of us wondering if he and Stevie Nicks are about to mend fences. One can’t help but question, should you get back together with your ex?
I would love to simply say, “No. You should not get back together with your ex,” and end this blog post now. But it’s never that easy, is it? Everyone’s circumstances are different, and every ex is different, too. There might be one or two exes you wouldn’t mind seeing again. Then there are those that make you scream, “Hell no!”
I have one main ex—my ex-husband. Never in a million years would I want to rekindle that romance. When I left him, the relationship was deader than an abandoned rose left in the Mojave Desert. I don’t believe in zombie relationships. However, there are some lovers from my past I have been thinking about lately. What makes us do that? What makes you want to get back together with your ex?
Well, firstly, let’s look at the current state of the world. We just survived a global pandemic! We’re traumatized AF. You know what helps trauma? Familiarity.
I think a desire to return to something familiar is what would drive you to get back together with your ex. Again, I’m not looking to return to any past relationships, but sex with someone familiar surely sounds wonderful to me nowadays. So, I get it. And if you’ve been contemplating getting back together with your ex, I just want you to know this is a normal feeling.
I also want you to know that if you’re hearing from exes, girl, you’re not alone! I am hearing these stories left and right. I use Tinder Gold to view who has swiped right on me already, and guys from my past are popping up there. It’s so weird. So, you’re not alone if exes are sliding into your DMs or just texting you out of the blue. Getting back together with your ex seems to be on everyone’s mind!
But before you take the leap and seriously consider getting back together with your ex, I implore you to think about this:
- Remember why you broke up in the first place. It’s possible that timing was off or you both were younger and immature. People do grow up and change. It could be a relationship worth revisiting. However, if the reason you two ended things was because the situation was bringing you more harm than good (i.e., abuse or infidelity), then maybe it’s best to leave the past in the past and continue moving forward. Don’t look in the rearview mirror for comfort. Continue to drive ahead.
- Are you in the right state of mind to make decisions about relationships? Stress, depression, and insecurity are emotions that influence us to make the worst decisions. If you’re suffering through burdens right now, such as unemployment, financial difficulties, a current relationship breakup, now is not the time to date or get into a new relationship. It is unwise to use romance as a distraction from your problems. Take care of your problems first. Stabilize your life and get yourself into a state of mind where you feel good. Then, you’ll be better able to decide if getting back together with your ex is smart.
In the end, only you can make this decision. You have to do what’s best for you. Whatever you do, don’t get back together with your ex out of guilt or because it would make their life easier. Your number-one priority should be yourself.
If, instead, you decide to get back to dating in this post-pandemic world, then please listen to my podcast “There Are No Nice Guys.” I offer up advice on dating, sex, and more. Listen directly from my website or subscribe on Spotify.