Once upon a time, I contemplated leaving Las Vegas. Now, I’m on a quest to nab myself a home in this shiny city. This won’t be my first time buying a home in Las Vegas, but it will be first as a single woman. That’s the cool part. I’m doing this on my own.
However, buying a home in Las Vegas is a lot like dating, filled with disappointments, flaky home sellers, unresponsive listing agents, abandoned projects, insincere listings, and photos that do nothing to sell the house. Now, I need to be clear. In this blog post, I am talking about buying a resale, not a new home construction. Buying a new construction is a whole other ballgame, one that I don’t wish to revisit.
With buying a resale home in Las Vegas, I seriously feel like I’ve thrown myself into a chaotic mess of online dating. I want to warn everyone else about it.
If you’re already single, then you will be prepared for the fuckery of buying a home in Las Vegas. Again, I’m talking about resales, here. But, if you’re not used to the frustrations that come with dating, you are ill-prepared for dealing with the real estate market in Las Vegas.
So buckle up, baby, because I’m about to break down the process of buying a home in Las Vegas by comparing it to my sad dating life. Let’s begin.
Insincere Sellers Just Testing the Market
A lot of sellers are simply not serious, just like the typical fuckboy who gets on Bumble, wants to see who he matches with, engages in conversation, only to ghost you later as though his interest was nothing more than an experiment.
There are lots of Las Vegas home sellers listing their homes just for the sake of testing the market. They want to see what kinds of offers they get, and they don’t care they’re wasting your time, just like that fuckboy on Bumble.
Sellers Selling to Investors Only
The other day, I saw a listing where the pitch was something like, “Great rental property with a tenant in place. He doesn’t want to move. So you’ll already have a tenant.”
But I want to LIVE in the home, not rent it out. Obviously, if I submitted an offer, the owner would reject it. That’s their right, of course, but this type of encounter is no different than the other guy you’ll find on Bumble, Mr. Sugar Baby. You know, this is the really pretty dude who is just looking for a woman to give him money. So, he’s not actually available so much as he’s available for purchase. A home available to investors only isn’t a home available to the rest of us, just like a Sugar Baby. It’s a limited opportunity for specific types only.
Flaky Flippers with Abandoned Rehabs
I don’t mean drug rehabs. I’m talking about somebody who watched way too much HGTV, thought they had all the right ideas and taste to upgrade a home, only to abandon it midway through the project when they realize they have big dreams but no real drive or commitment. Then, they go ahead and list it for sale even though it’s not finished.
I mean, if that doesn’t sound like the typical flaky guy you find on a dating app, I don’t know what does! Big dreams. No motivation to complete the job… typical. You’ll find a lot of abandoned projects when you’re buying a home in Las Vegas.
Mullets
This is exactly what it sounds like. When you’re buying a home in Las Vegas, expect to find some really pretty front yards and front exteriors, only to be shocked by the mess in the back. Yuck!
Delusions of Grandeur
As a single woman, one of the greatest frustrations of my journey is encountering man after man who thinks he’s all that when he is not. A lot of men are under the delusion that simply being a man makes them a catch. It doesn’t.
My personal experience of buying a home in Las Vegas has been filled with home owners who think their home is special when it isn’t, and so they overprice their house. A lot of sellers think they have a gem on their hands when all I see is a pile of shit. Sellers need to look at their homes with an objective eye and their listing agents need to be realistic with them. Unfortunately, many listing agents act like enablers, thus, adding to the problem.
Lack of Salesmanship
Have you ever scrolled through Tinder only to find a mass of men who post the most unflattering photos of themselves? You might even wonder, “Did he not bother to look at this photo before uploading it?”
Often times, these photos include up-the-nose angles, or photos in bed that make him look lazy not sexy; or, my favorite, photos with his sunglasses on so you can’t actually see what he looks like (I always assume he must be very unattractive). It can be the same experience when buying a home in Las Vegas!
I actually saw one listing where there was photo of a futon. A FUTON! It wasn’t a photo of the room where the futon sat. It was a photo of the FUTON! Like, are you kidding me?
Based on my personal experience, I would say that more than half of the Las Vegas real estate listings lack any kind of salesmanship. Hell, some listings have NO photos! Just like that weird, creepy guy on Tinder who doesn’t upload a profile photo but expects that somebody will swipe right. WTF?
Try These Tips for Buying a Home in Las Vegas
Just like dating, you can mitigate the level of frustration you experience during your home-buying journey. Try these tips.
- Hire a realtor. Don’t contact listing agents or owners selling their homes on your own. Those people are not on your side. Having your own realtor is having someone in your corner. My realtor has been my therapist, really.
- Get pre-approved for your mortgage. Having a pre-approval shows you mean business. Plus, then you know your budget, too. Be respectful of your budget.
- Expect aggravation. When you’re buying a home in Las Vegas your time will be wasted, people will be dishonest, and you will be disappointed a multitude of times. Seriously, it’s like dating! I’m not even exaggerating.
- Use each experience as a lesson. All the aggravations will help you learn more about what you want and don’t want. You’ll learn about yourself.
- Don’t give up. I mean, I say this about dating all the time. Don’t give up. This same advice applies to buying a home in Las Vegas. It will work out for you. Just keep looking.
